Sammy is a nice ranting partner! <3> ((: Thanks!

LIANNE,

I promised Shao I would treasure my ________, and I SHALL, even if the self-control is proving to be harder to attain than I thought it would be. This is why you should never start, cause you can get addicted to about anything, even if they're the worse things to get addicted to!
And how I wish, how I really really really wish it weren't so.

(: And I've told so many lies this year, especially recently, just to cover up my shame, and I don't know how to take them back. Or if I do want to take them back. I don't know if I should have lied, if overall I did the right thing. I don't know if I could take things back, if I'd change a single thing. I've learnt so much and felt so much and hurt so much and I wouldn't just give it away. Because the memories are much more significant to me than mere smile-y moments that only serve to give you a momentary relief. And after all, like in the latest story I wrote, how do we know what's genuinely real, how we really are, what we're sure we feel? Because I'm sure we don't even know ourselves. If I could change anything, how would I be different now? Would I be happier? Would I be worse of? Would I still be unscarred, both physically and mentally, or would it be much worse? I'm thankful for how I am now, because I'm sure it could be much much worse and I'm joyful that it hasn't reached that point for me yet. (:

One thing I'm sure, I don't want to take back what I've done recently, maybe what I did a few months ago, yes, but not what occurred in the past two months. Looking back, I've learnt a ton from what I did and I do treasure it, no matter how many others have tried to advise me, counsel me, reprimand me, hold me down. I know there are lots of people who love me - Ruby, Yingx, Ting, Shao, Car, Linn, Feng and Jaclyn. These select few precious people who are closer to me, than not say in a sisterly way, because truthfully, I could never love them the way I do my sister, but at the same time, I could never love my sister the way I do them. They're really in a whole category of their own so thankyou. (: Out of those, there's also two special people I've told about every single thing to, you know who both of you are, thanks so much for being there for me all the time and you two really hold my complete trust. I'm quite sure that neither of you will ever share my secrets with anyone. And even then, there are some of my really really close friends, Becky, Houten, Gillian and all, who still do care about me. ((: I hope you don't get offended by this, cause I love you guys all the same. (: There are also those people whom aren't so close, or we don't know each other well enough yet, or perhaps I don't even know who you are yet, and we could be excellent friends in the future, and I'd spill all my worries to you. (: There are those who may not care at all, oh well, or those who hate me, nevermind, but I know I'm loved and so THANKS for that. ((:

And so, I conclude, I will try my best to treasure my ________, just like I promised. (:

Dett.

Edit//

Sometimes you just have to pull through, not because you want to or know you can, but because you'll be torn up like a useless ragdoll if you don't, cruelly shredded and tossed aside.

"Is the ledge really that wide? =/" (HAHAHA some things still make me laugh(: )