how great is your unchanging love

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

♥ 11:42 PM

I'm not the milk and cheerios in your spoon. ~Avril Lavigne (Mobile, if I'm not wrong.)

My arms hurt now. But it's a nice kind of feeling. Eeyer, that sounds totally sadistic, but it isn't. -.-" I'm so sorry to those whom I made worry today! I know what I did last night was really stupid, especially the reason I did it for too. I just kinda have a lot of emotions I need to release, and I guess I released it in the wrong way. It's all red and swollen now after my bath - ew. So I guess it's back to wearing my red jacket to sleep tonight. (: It became a habit overnight, in a way, but I know I can stop it before it becomes super dangerous. (:

Gym was pretty good today. (: We did splits, kicks, running splits, running scissorskicks, front-somersaults, back-somersaults and bars. :D I liked the back-somersaults and the bars. Hahaha.

Btw, Feng and I shall never forget chatting in the toilet. (; Feng, me, Jaclyn & CO? Doesn't sound right, but maybe. (:

These few days, you may not see me online as often, cause I'll only be on at night, or not at all, so I'm going to try my best to make this a loooong post to make up for those days on which I will be missing posts. ):

My parents, you see, have become aware of the fact that I stayed up till 2am last night rushing last minute homework. Yes, my bad. I was stupid to let my mum find out. Anyway, she told my dad, they decided no computer till after I finish all my school stuff. Pfft go roast your arses, arseholes. I know I shouldn't be so angry, and it is definitely helping me in a way, but there were some people whom I really really really would liked to have talked to today, but missed out on the opportunity cause of the sudden new rule. I am seriously very thankful though, that I haven't been grounded again. (:

Lit was okay today, but something I noticed, everyone likes to depict scenes of ____ or _______ ___ _____, but they totally make a fool out of it. It kind of makes me sad that people have such a pitiful, comical view on such important matters, but I guess they are kind of funny, just that they should be given more respect, in a manner of speaking, instead of being ridiculed and laughed at and made fun out of and portrayed in a manner that makes it seem funny. Because matters of the _____ are not things to be played with, I know personally.

That's why I these scars riddle my arms.

I have a history SA tomorrow and I'm really going to die. A terrible, terrible death. I haven't started studying yet. (Shhh) I'm supposed to be doing it now with Shao, but unfortunately, by some odd reason, she says she hasn't reached her MSN yet, which I don't get, as she is perfectly online, just set to Be Right Back, and after all, her computer is in her house.

Oh well. If she doesn't come soon, I'm just going to study by myself. I'm rather pressed for time, as you imagine. What with my parents chasing me to go to bed and this being examination time. And it's not like my life's been at the top of a sugar-coated mountain of ice-cream. (Which I still wouldn't want to eat anyway O:) It's been rather buried and stomped on unmercilessly, and all I do is stupid things, like ________ ______ and so Shao and Ting had to hold on to me today. Hm.

Today, I had four samosas and two small bowls of soup and two small bowls of yoghurt, for breakfast, recess, lunch, lunchbeforegym and dinner. I really wonder why I'm not dying of starvation.

I'm not getting enough sleep either, but I feel wide awake. Like last night's events supercharged me or something, and suddenly, I'm so restless that I'm doing stupid things, not needing food and not needing sleep. I think Ting's right. Without my daily vitamins, I'd be dead by now. O:

Maybe I should rethink after all. But it's not like I want to not-eat. In fact, I haven't been hungry the whole day, but actually forced myself to eat those samosas. I could very well have gone without them, as well as that yoghurt and soup, and still be sitting here in this morose, awake state. I have no idea what's wrong with me.

Anyway! (: Feng likes to prankcall and pranksms. xD SORRY KEVIN. Poof she took my handphone okay! ((x Not my fault, grah. I'll empty my message inbox more often next time. xD

Oh well, I guess I am getting a little tired. (: I still need my sleep, even if not my food.

It's 12.01am on my computer clock. A sad time. I don't like it. It reminds me. (:

12.02am now. I still don't like this minute.

I shall wait for 12.03am.

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12.03am. (: I prefer this time, though it's much too close to the previous timings for my likings, but nevermind.

Feelings. (:/):

Dett.