how great is your unchanging love

Saturday, May 26, 2007

♥ 11:01 PM

Becks and Merlion came over today! I think it was fun! But somehow I'm not happy. ):

I just feel really hollow, y'know?

That kind of feeling you just get suddenly?

Maybe its pre-journey jitters.

I guess I'm just a wimp.

I'm scared something's wrong with me, like I'm fugly, or a horribly mean person, or that everyone hates me, but no one's telling me!

I guess Merlion was right. I am fat and flabby.

I should diet again.

I'm scared that when I come back, everything will have changed, and my friends won't like me anymore or something.

I don't know what will happen!

I feel so insecure.

I just need someone to talk to and stuff that's nice.

But right now, words just aren't enough.

We all need the human touch sometimes -

To be near someone.

To be able to talk face to face.

To let it all out.

I don't know if I want to go to Vancouver.

What about my future?

I wanted to be a psychologist.

Like my sister.

But Mr. Tan says I shouldn't, cause it doesn't pay well.

What do I do now?

Am I desperate?

What am I desperate for?

For lit, remember I was writing about that model that never learnt to trust?

What if that's my future?

Now I'm asking myself.

What is trust?

What is it like to trust someone wholly and completely, and know that'll they'll be there forever by your side, at any time of the day?

Have I ever learnt to trust?

Dett. ):